don’t forget your why.

I’m having one of those weeks where it would be so easy for me to skip writing this newsletter. I’m tired from mothering, worn out from the summer heat, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I haven’t had a single burst of inspiration this week; in fact, I’ve barely had a moment to sit down and think at all. 

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like this over the past eight months of writing to you. More than once, I’ve wondered if any of this matters or if anyone would notice if I skipped a week of writing. Or two. Today alone, my mind has offered me at least a dozen valid excuses to slip behind, a whole fleet of lifeboats just waiting for me to jump ship.

But here I am. Because I made a commitment to send out this Weekly Walk once a week for a whole year. 

So when I plopped down at my desk with an already defeated sigh, grumbling to myself while opening up a blank Google doc, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and offered this one-sentence prayer: 

What do you want me to learn right here, right now? 

My answer came surprisingly quickly with a sudden new thought: “Don’t forget your why.” 

And there it was—inspiration from my lack of inspiration. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor? 

So I started thinking about my reasons why. Why did I make this commitment back in November? Why did I feel prompted to stick with this weekly schedule for a year? Why does it matter to me? It’s not like the world would end if I skipped a week. Or two. 

I thought about how this year of writing has looked different for me than the past three years have. I thought about how I’ve spent far less time on social media than I’d planned. I thought about how my Father had known I’d need a different outlet for my writing and a commitment that brought me back to my desk during a season where I genuinely felt like quitting. 

I thought about how much I’ve learned while writing this newsletter and how much I've had to depend on heavenly help for guidance and direction. And then I thought about you and your kind messages of encouragement on days when I really needed them. 

If I hadn’t stuck with the commitment I made back in November, then I would’ve missed out on all that goodness. Sure, there would’ve been other opportunities for me to share my words. Yes, God can reach me in multiple ways; He’s certainly not limited to weekly newsletters. But this commitment, this path we’re walking together, He’s already walked it. And He doesn’t want me to wait on the sidelines because it’s hard or I’m tired or I’m just not feeling it. He wants me to practice, even if that means I’m stumbling along the way.

So what is my why? 

I write because it makes me happy. I write because it helps me process. I write because I see God moving in my life and I can’t stay quiet about it. Simply put, I write because I love it, and I’m committed because I love me. 

When our commitments feel shaky, we need to remember our whys—the beautiful reasons that brought us here and the reassuring reasons that make us want to stay. If we don’t understand deep in our bones why we are doing something, we won’t stick with it. That’s not to say we won’t make mistakes or slip up or fall—because we most definitely will. But can we get back up? Will we keep trying? Will we send out our Wednesday newsletters on a Friday night just because we want to believe in something bigger than ourselves? 

Yes. Yes, we will. 

We keep walking because God has something to show us. And we hope one day to be as committed and unfaltering as He is. Someday, at least. 

One newsletter a week.

One step at a time.