what’s the big secret?

It’s the end of a long week, and I think I might be out of words. 

I’ve written a lot this week, mostly in prayer, pouring my heart out on the page and handing over my fears and worries for God to hold on to. I’ve also written some words for my new book. I’m slowly weaving together this story with each description jotted down and every line of dialogue spoken.

Now, here I am, trying to find even more words so that I can write to you. And once again, I find myself asking in prayer, What do I write today?

It doesn’t take long for that question to turn into something else: What is there to say that hasn’t already been said? 

It’s kind of funny that I constantly expect, and even sometimes demand, new information from God. If I had things my way, I’d have an unending stream of constant reassurance and clear-cut direction straight from the mouth of Jesus every second of the day. He would tell me exactly what to say and do from the moment I woke up to the moment my head hit the pillow each night.

In other words, if I had things my way, there wouldn’t be any need for faith. 

But you see, God already offers each of us a constant stream of reassurance and direction. Really, He does.

So how do we access it—what’s the big secret? 

It’s time spent with His Son. Every day.

But I did that yesterday, I find myself unconsciously thinking. Isn’t there something else we need to do? Something new and novel, something that I’ve never tried before? 

Despite all my questioning, the answer remains the same: Seek Me. Follow Me. Learn of Me. Love like Me. Be with Me. 

And it’s true. Answers are found, reassurance is given, peace is delivered, and comfort is poured out every time I choose to participate in the small and simple things, the daily choices that bring my focus back to what matters most. But even though I know this, that still doesn’t stop me from looking for bigger and more exciting answers from my ever-patient Father. I want lightning bolts and claps of thunder, but He speaks to me in a soft and gentle voice. I want His undeniable miracles up front and center, but He wants me to search for the majesty in the mundane. I want a spectacle, and He wants me to see that something spectacular is already happening.

The other day someone asked me about my writing practice. They asked if I had to wait for inspiration every time I wrote. I laughed and said no. “If I was always waiting for inspiration,” I said, “Then I wouldn’t get much writing done.” Writing is as much a discipline as it is a creative mystery. Sure, sometimes I have intense and magical moments of pure inspiration, but most of the time, my writing practice is just me sitting down at my computer with a prayer in my heart, hope in my chest, and a Here goes nothing on my lips. 

It’s in the simple but profound acts of showing up and spending time that my books get written. And it’s that same pattern that Christ calls us to when He asks us to be His disciples. Yes, sometimes we have those big earth-shaking, faith-defining moments. But most of the time, it’s us moving along, one step at a time, just like we did the day before and the day before that.

It’s repetitive and sometimes monotonous. It’s a lifelong practice. It’s holding on when it might feel easier to let go. And it’s the very definition of discipline. 

So today, I’m writing you yet another newsletter that wrestles with faith. Today, I‘m sharing words with you that have been said before and will be said again. Today, I’m not looking for anything new. 

Just time with Jesus. Again. And again.

Have a great weekend, my friends.